Living Truthfully

One of my favourite companies recently released their new company logo. For its 40th anniversary, Starbucks removed the "Starbucks Coffee" around their logo and made the Siren the focal point of their logo. The company's decision, aside from aesthetics, was due to the fact that they no longer wanted to be "limited to coffee" despite its success stemming from its coffee roots in Seattle. To be honest, I thought it was dumb and I did not like it. What I have learned to love is now different, although it's the same. Yet the more I think about this, I wonder how much this has to do with me: a fan of Starbucks--which I even refer to as "Starbs." In fact, the company's decision has nothing to do with me. Starbucks, as an entity, felt the need to express itself differently and I think that's the key point I was missing.

Much like Starbucks, this summer I have the opportunity to re-invent myself. In all honesty, I could be whoever I want and no one would know the difference, aside from Carissa and Brittany with whom I am travelling and are a part of the Beyond Borders crew. I have come to the realisation that Starbucks' new logo has less to do with pleasing others than to being true to itself, as a company. I am not saying I will try all the things I've been too scared to do and wreak havok in the Dominican Republic but there are aspects of my life which I would like to develop.

One such aspect of my life is sports. Personally, I don't think I am necessarily bad at sports but I'm also not going to say I'm very well coordinated and skilled. I think, in a way, sports have become a scary part of my life; it is an opportunity to be vulnerable and to not be good at something--to look stupid. If I'm being honest, I sense more pressure in performing well in front of male peers, with whom I would normally play, and perhaps I am "bad" at sports because I am too scared to even try to be good. Yet this summer, I have signed up to run the Individual Sports station with the Esperanza Project. I guess my hopes are to be comfortable with my skills, regardless of what the are, and to inspire the youth to be okay with trying hard even though the results aren't necessarily what we want. Most of all, I hope to be a positive role model who is okay with being who they are.

This week, I also had a marked change in attitude towards going to the Dominican Republic. Finally, it seemed real. In addition to getting my shots about a week and a half ago, we had to look at the concrete risks of the Dominican Republic and we also had a session about packing and what to bring!
I learned about the risks of worms and parasites, the likelihood of earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis and the dangers of taxis in the Dominican. Yet despite all these dangers, I think what changed me most was my conversation with Carissa and Brittany this past Saturday.

We decided to meet up at William's to discuss some of our fears, expectations and what we're like under stress. It made me think, again, at the person I want to be and who I will have to be when we're in the DR. Normally, I try to avoid conflict. It became evident, however, that frustrations will be a regular part of our life simply because of our situation. Although I have an intermediate level of Spanish, language will no doubt cause conflict: whether they arise from misunderstanding or total non-comprehension. Secondly, after thoroughly discussing our dislike of bugs, it seems like I may need to get over my squirmish self and take one for the team! Although something like dealing with bugs might seem small, it still puts me outside of my "normal." I will be challenged to live out my fears, to live in response to others and to test my limits. Yet my desire to avoid conflict and please others puts me at risk. Living truthfully will be a challenge--I hope I will live true to my limits and only be "the man" that tries to "help" the girls.

I hope to re-invent myself yet I hope to acknowledge my limits. From volunteering, I think I've had this sort of expectation for myself. WASL is a great place to connect with others, "do some good" and try new things. My first two times there, I was definitely "trying to fit in." However, I am much more comfortable there and am not afraid to be myself. I honestly hope I remember how that feels so I can connect with others and not be afraid to show who I am.

Living truthfully is liberating. I invite you to show your true self too.