Bittersweet.

The last few weeks have been absolutely amazing. Although I´ve missed home more than I have since the start of my time here, I have also been having more fun than I have. Yet at the end of my trip here, it´s not gonig to be the 27 waterfalls I jumped and slid off of that I will miss. Neither will it be sleeping over at Playa grande or renting a villa with friends for the night. I won´t miss partying in Cabarete and dancing the night away with great company. I won´t lose sleep over any of that nor will I cry at the thought of not being able to do any of that ever again.

As I sat in bed about half an hour ago, I realized that my trip is coming to an end. In two days, I will have been here for exactly three months--the 90 day Beyond Borders immersion experience time. Yet in ten days, I will be back at home by the end of the night. It is a bittersweet feeling knowingthat I finally get all the comforts of my regular life again yet at the same time I will truly miss the vibracy of lifethat I have witnessed thus far during my stay. I sat in bed, listening to music and shedding a few tears over the things that I will, in fact, miss. As much as I dreaded doing some of these things some days, they are what kept me going. I miss going to the pre-school and breaking off into groups with the kids. I miss singing 5 little monkeys swinging on a tree. I miss helping to choose a flag leader for tomorrow. I miss reading with kids and helping them sound out words. I miss helping kids practice for their talent show and I miss playing math bingo. I miss painting the walls and improving my artistic abilities. I miss playing baseball with the kids and I miss watching the laugh during the olympics. I look through my pictures on my camera and I miss Michel smiling in every single picture he is in--candid or not. I know I will miss helping Wilmur throw a dodgeball and screaming 'a mi' over and over again with Arieri. I will miss sitting down in between olympic activities and talking with the greens. I will miss having to explain for the 100th time that I do NOT know Kung Fu. I will also miss having kids throw balls and frisbees at us to earn points in the gauntlet. But through all these things that I miss, I think the common thread is that I will miss being inspired by the optimism and authenthic happiness of the kids.

Camp is what helped pull me through the hard days when I really wanted to be home. I looked forward to being inspired and I hope that I had and have a similar impact on the kids. Today especially, I realized that we are always concerned about 'me'. When is it my turn? Why is my drink not here yet?... the list goes on. Yet today, I also recognized that I hope to live by others. What is a few minutes of my time if it helps others?
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A quick example is when I got to the internet cafe to write this post.. there were no computers and a lady was waiting. The worker here offered me to use the laptop so I didn´t have to wait. Frustrated, the lady that was waiting called the worker racist because she was not allowed to use the laptop during her wait. As a result, I decided to wait as to not cause any problems. I´m sure I could have just used the computer if I wanted to but I wanted to live by example, as I have been trying to.
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I only hope that my time here has left a mark in some way, shape or form. Whether it is in my peers, the kids or the person I say hi to on the way home everyday, I hope that I have inspired them as they have inspired me. I will never know if my time here has made a difference but I don´t think it matters. I will keep my reflections in mind as I spend my last 10 days here in Cabrera and hopefully inspire through my actions.

Don´t get me wrong, I truly enjoyed all the moments I have shared with every person I have encountered along the way here. But I just wanted to pay tribute to the beautiful people that have inspired to be authentically happy. It really is life-changing to witness and I hope whoever is reading my blog will try to live not always thinking about 'me'.

Live and inspire.