Living Unexpectedly

Life is not always a perfect series of events. In fact, life is full of unexpected twists and turns and we must be prepared for that. I guess, in a sense, that the Beyond Borders program tries to prepare me for that in challenging me to live uncomfortably and to live intentionally. But despite the copious amounts of preparation through readings, volunteer placements and alumni presentations, the smallest things in life remind us of the fragility of life and how we will be challenged once abroad in our new homes, in May.

This past Wednesday, I was hit with a fever that caught me off guard. I was bed-ridden for 3 days and felt groggy for the next two -- only today am I feeling better. For the first few days, aside from attending classes, I was almost exclusively in bed. I felt like a koala bear, having slept for probably 40 of 48 hours in the initials stages of my sickness. As a result, I did not start my volunteer placement this week at Worth A Second Look as I felt that I would have been unable to give my all to the placement.

I fully intend to start next week and make a committed effort to get to know and engage the work environment.

But this committed engagement is something that we, as North Americans, often fail to achieve. Having grown up in an individualistic culture, there is a tendency to "not want to bother others". Thus, life becomes a monotonous series of scripted behaviours. Think back to the last time you asked or were asked "How are you doing?" Now think about the response you get. Chances are, the answer was "Fine." But what does that really mean? Alternatively, if I were to answer something differently, does the person who asked the question really care about how I was doing, or were they simply asking as a part of the conventional method of interaction?

One thing that has stuck with me since 2007 is asking the question "What's your story?" Each person has a story and we can learn a lot more about a person in their stories. So here's a story about a challenge I had for the Christmas break.

In the season of giving, the Beyond Borders group was challenged to do a "Random Act of Kindness". That is, to do something nice for someone without necessarily having them know and to do it randomly. What did I do? Well, I went to Starbucks, ordered myself a drink and then gave the barista an additionally $20 and asked her to use it to pay for someone else's drink afterwards. However, I wanted it to be used on people who were only ordering one drink (so it could be used on multiple people) and for it to not be used all in a row. I also asked the baristas to keep it confidential.  And so, I sat and "read a book". In reality, I sat and watched to see what the person's reaction. Surprise and gratitude was the general reaction. I managed to get see Starbucks get 3 different people drinks. But even more surprisingly for me, two of the three people that got drinks from me, in fact paid the amount their drinks would have costed towards the next person's drink. In the end, only 3 people actually get a "free" drink but the meaning behind it is so much more. The gratitude that was expressed was heartwarming and showed the power of the unexpected. So do something unexpected, be spontaneous.

There are certain things in life that make you stop and think why did it happen to me? Whether it's sickness that prevents you from doing something or getting a free drink, we sometimes think: "why me?" But more often than not, we think "Why me?" as a response to sickness, to a negative event. In contrast, when we get something good, like a free drink, we might say "Thanks!", forgot about it or think about how lucky we are. This tendency to worry about oneself only in the presence of negative events is too common. I think it is important to think about what we do and how we got somewhere in every step of our lives. In doing so, it becomes easier to relate to others and also deters us from taking life for granted. Life is full of challenges and obstacles and they do not occur uniquely to you. I felt bad for myself being sick but it does not and did not give me an excuse to be a bad person.

So no matter what life throws in your way, remember that other people may be having challenging time in their life as well. Be unexpected and change the social script. Live intentionally and make an effort to get to know them. Live unexpectedly and embrace the unexpected. Sometimes, it's the unexpected that help us appreciate what is expected.

That is my hope. Let my Dominican Republic show me life in a new way.

Oh, ya. I'm going to the Dominican Republic in May! Just a little teaser, I'll talk more about my placement in another week!